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great mood! [Friday
August 18th, 2006
[ mood | Great. ]

So, I've decided that I'm not going to let certain people piss me off anymore, I'm over them and their immatureness. I'm having a people over tomorrow and I get to see everyone that I haven't in awhile =D I'm beyond excited. My parents will probably get drunk haha. I'm stealing stuff or just asking for it once their highly intoxicated. I went school shopping and got the cutest new clothes for school. I start school on Thursday. Oh yeah, I got a job at Subway :] yay me! I start training on Monday. I'm nervous and excited. Well, my summer sucked big time but I'm making next years much better.

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Migrane. [Tuesday
August 8th, 2006
[ mood | Ouch. ]

I haven't updated in awhile so I thought I would do it now to let everyone know what's been happening. My family came over on Sunday and we all hung out, I was suppose to hang out with my cousin Justin but then everyone else decided to come over and it wasn't as fun as I thought it would be because I can't drive with him anywhere and I still need a car. This week I'm hanging out with Brian, every day because next week he's going to be at the Cape for the whole week and I'll only see him once because he's bringing me down there for a day. Saturday I'm going to Canobie Lake w/ my entire family which is going to be awesome, I'm really excited for that. I go back to school in less then 2 weeks almost. The only thing I'm looking forward to is school shoppingg! I didn't do my summer reading but I don't really care, I'll just go onto sparknotes and cheat my way to a passing grade. I watched Final Desination 3 and I love that movie so much! Except, now I'm kind of worried about going tanning and going on a roller coaster on Saturday! pahah oh man, but I will anyways. Well anyways, that's what's been going on. Oh yeah, I'm not letting people bother me anymore, I don't care what they do and If they want to act like stuck up bitches then whatever.

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Season Finale. [Wednesday
August 2nd, 2006
[ mood | out of this world happy ]

I'm in a really good mood right now, in the morning I wasn't at all but then around 1 I went through a mood swing. Today was one of those days where I just wanna be in brians arms all day long. Seriously, I've never met anyone like this boy. He's amazing and my life would be out of this world different if i'd never met him, I really do believe he's the best thing that's ever happened to me, he can always put a smile on my face! :] Oh, and I just watched the season finale of "The Hills" and I loved it. I think it's sweet that Lauren chose Jason over Paris. Although, Paris is a once in a lifetime opportunity, she's obviously madly in love with Jason. Whatev, their cute but I just hope next season, their still together and Jason treats her like a princess. Well, I'm going to go enjoy my good mood. Seeya.

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Such a lady, but i'm dancing like a hoee. [Sunday
July 30th, 2006
[ mood | Over-tired. ]

today my dad picked me up and i was looking forward to a nice day of father daughter time, but i was wrong. he has a new girlfriend named shannon and whatever she's nice and all but i never get to see my dad, alone, anymore, he brings her everywhere. she's kind of like a cold, you don't mind it at first but then it gets obnoxcious, i don't want to be mean because i've only met her twice but i just wish she didn't have my dad so whipped. i talked to my nana about how i feel and she told me that i should tell my dad but i'd feel a little out of place saying that to him, i don't want to hurt his feelings even though he's hurting mine. i mean, at my aunts today, he didn't even talk to me, he was to busy kissing her ass. i don't think it's fair that my dad keeps falling for all these women and then things turn out for the worst. i don't even know what to do anymore, i'm beginning to think i shouldn't even bother.

I've learned something. [Thursday
July 27th, 2006
[ mood | Ick. ]

So, I know I sounded completely beyond pissed off in my previous entry but I learned a lot in the past couple days. Not everyone in the world will listen to the advice other people try to tell them. I cannot and will not ever be able to change people, even my closet friends won't listen to me if i try to tell them their heading down the wrong path. I guess life is full of many of these little obstacles, but whatever doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger. People in your life will always do something wrong and sometimes you just have to let it happen and let them learn the hard way. So from now on, i'm going to try and just let stupid stuff roll off my shoulders.


anyways, on a brighter note, i'm trying to get myself in shape, i ran/jogged/walked a mile today in only 16 minutes! that might not sound too healthy but it seemed to me like i did a kick ass job! :D i'm sick of thinking lowly of myself and i want to lose 10 pounds and make my thighs skinner, so if you have any advice as of how to do so [besides running] let me know. that's it for now. comment me.

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High school changes everything. [Monday
July 24th, 2006
[ mood | =| ]

Dear Journal:
I can't take this shit anymore. Everything use to be so simple before we came into high school. Nobody did drugs for a living. Nobody changed their beliefs to fit the in and Nobody tried to make you do shit you didn't want to, and if they did and just told them to screw off. Why does everyone change in high school? I mean, I understand theirs peer pressure but if you were an individual and had your own god damn mind then you wouldn't give in to that shit all the time and you wouldn't start new shit and try new things. I'm just so dissapointed. My whole school is full of drug dealers and people who do drugs every day of their life. I just can't believe how different 9th grade was for me from 8th and how much people changed from 9th grade to 10th. It's pathetic. I mean, I'm not sitting here telling you that I've never tried drugs or that I haven't changed because I did and I have, but then I realized that there's much more to life then what meets the eye. I learned that I was slowly killing myself and my brain by doing stupid stuff like that and I stopped, so why can't everyone else? You know why? because their stupid! They love the life their living and the popularity they get from drugs but what they don't get is that their going nowhere in life. I just wish life was always simple. Look at the president of the fucking United States, he's pathetic too. Their's soldiers in Iraq fighting for HIM and he's an asswhipe and doesn't even act like he gives to shits. The news is a joke and lies to us telling us shit that happened in Iraq 2 months ago. The whole world is a huge joke and nobody cares anymore. It's falling apart right before our eyes. Wars, Gang fights, Robberies, everything. It's a disgrace. I know I sound like a mental case but all of this anger has been building up inside of me for the longest time now and It's coming out all at once, in this entry. What I need the most right now, Is my grandfather. I miss his advice and everything he use to teach me about and talk to me about. Why does God take everything I held so close to me away? My Grandfather was the best person on the face of this earth and then within the blink of an eye, he left. Gone for good, I can't hear his advice anymore or let him teach me lessons of life or go to him with questions about life and love and boys and friendship. I miss him. I miss my old friends. I miss life before high school. I miss the old world. I miss the simple things in life. I miss the days when the only choice I had to make was weather Ken would marry Barbie or her best friend, Theresa.

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=[ [Saturday
March 25th, 2006
[ mood | puffy eyes ]

Dear Journal: I know this is long but please read this

Today i went to my Grandfathers memorial service in Hopkinton. It was the farthest thing from fun. I cried so much and it was probably the most painful thing i've gone through in my whole life. Everyone was crying and i felt horribly bad for my Nana. I mean, he's been her companion for over 25 years and she just lost her best friend. The service was amazing though, everything was pretty and depressing but Veterans came since my Grandfather was a verteran and they gave my Nana a flag in honor of my Grandfather.

I cannot remember something that i've gone through, my whole life that was a painful as today. Afterwards i eyes were wicked swollen and i looked chinese, i said to my aunt it was a good thing i wore my waterproof mascara. Anyways, i saw alot of my family that i barely ever see, only it stinks that it was under these circumstances. There were so many people at the service it was insane.

I'm so scared though. I'm afraid that since i just lost someone that was out of this world close to me, that it's going to affect me more deeply then i think. I've been trying to look at the brighter side of things and remember that he's in a better place and isn't suffering anymore cause God knows he was. He was such a nice person and was so positive about everything, he didn't deserve to leave us. Everyone kept telling me how much he loved me and how much i meant to him and it honestly isn't helping me at all, it made me cry even more. Could today possibly get anymore depressing?

Other then that life's been decent. I'm changing though and i'm going on a diet and eating healthier food because i'm gaining weight, too much in my opinion. I've notice people around me changing too which kind of depresses me but it happens in life. Oh yeah, and one of my old friends had a party, and i wasn't invited which i think is rude if you ask me, since i invited them to mine but you know what? i could care less about little things like that anymore, from now on i'm looking at life through a whole other perspective, because that's what my Grandfather would want and taught me best.

Signed, Krystal.

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